Hard knock life

There’s a narrative that life is a never-ending process of overcoming. Peterson plainly asserts that life is suffering. We could debate the word. Buddha referred to a wide spectrum of unsatisfactory experiences as suffering. Swap it for “problem.” Life is full of problems. Better?

Whatever you call it — suffering is unwelcome. So why do we excel at it? Can’t we just stop? I believe we can. But think about it: problems, bad thoughts, suffering — always drawing near. True durable happiness is simply the absence of all these. Ask anyone if they’d want their problems and worries gone. The answer is a resounding Yes.

Happiness is essentially negative. It’s what remains when you subtract the undesirable. A byproduct of freedom. Freedom from the vicious cycle. And this freedom is a byproduct of self-awareness. When you see that everything exists in your perception, you break free. Thinking forward is not about happiness. It’s a path to freedom. Freedom from the shackles of your own mind. From self-imposed limitations. From the self. The joyful peaceful life you get is a byproduct.

Before getting to thinking forward let me explain what I call backward thinking. When you say anything, mean it. You see quite often we add an escape hatch by sort of contradicting what just was being said:

— It is nice, but could be better

No, it couldn’t, everything is the result of everyone doing what they could. If you see a possibility for improvement – do it, make the world better. The opinion is not required. Everything after the comma is not required and not beneficial. It makes the other person to start justify themselves and discussion steers god knows where on auto.

The cure is speaking directly. Stop adding escape hatches, pouring brake fluid, switching to reverse. Eliminate the “buts” and “howevers” — anchors that drag you back. Don’t be afraid. To do this, observe your thoughts and emotions. Watch what’s going on in your head. Notice you’re about to add a counter-statement — stop.

Countless jokes about not seeing what’s right in front of us. Funny because it’s true. We get so tangled in thoughts that we miss what’s actually happening. The mind is wired into the body, and whatever we think we want, we don’t have complete control.

If life isn’t going the way you wanted — start by clearing the waters of the mind you’re swimming in. Pay attention only to what’s interesting, meaningful, and propels you forward. In Buddhism, teachers can only point the way. Walking it is your responsibility. True transformation comes from your own actions. You walk the last mile yourself.

Let’s start from fixing what usually goes wrong in life.