Hard knock life

There is this narrative going on that life is a never-endding process of overcoming one thing or another. Jordan Peterson plainly asserts that life is suffering. We could debate the exact meaning of this word. Buddha, for instance, referred to a wide spectrum of unsatisfactory experiences as suffering. To make it sound better, we could use the word “problem”. Life is full or problems. How does this sound?

Regardless of the terminology, it’s widely accepted that suffering isn’t a welcome part of our lives. So, why do we seem to excel at it? Can’t we simply put an end to it and live happily? I hope we can. But if you think of it, the problems, the bad thoughts, the suffering are always drawing near. The true durable happiness is simply an absence of all these. Ask anybody if they would want their problems and worries go away. I believe the answer would be the resounding Yes.

Happiness, in its essence, has a negative nature. It’s what remains when you subtract the undesirable parts. It’s a byproduct of freedom. Freedom from the vicious cycle. And this freedom, in turn, is a byproduct of self-awareness. Only when you see that everything exists in your perception you can break free from the vicious cycle. In the end thinking forward is not about reaching happiness. It’s a way on for attaining freedom. Freedom from the shackles of your own mind. Freedom from the self-imposed limitations. Freedom from the self. The joyful peaceful life you get from this is a byproduct.

Before getting to thinking forward let me explain what I call backward thinking. When you say anything mean it. You see quite often we add an escape hatch by sort of contradicting what just was being said:

— It is nice, but could be better

No, it couldn’t, everything is the result of everyone doing what they could. If you see a possibility for improvement – do it, make the world better. The opinion is not required. Everything after the comma is not required and not beneficial. It makes the other person to start justify themselves and discussion steers god knows where on auto.

The cure for this is to speak in a clear and direct way. Stop adding the escape hatches, pouring the brake fluid and switching to reverse. Eliminate the “buts” and “howevers,” those anchors that drag you back. Don’t be afraid. To be able to do it, one must observe their thoughts and emotions. You have to be aware of what’s going on in your head, keeping a vigilant eye on the mental landscape. You will notice that you are about to a add counter-statement, stop.

There are countless jokes about not seeing what’s right in front of us. They are funny because it is so true. We become so entangled in our thoughts and simultaneously perplexed by external circumstances, that we overlook what’s really happening. The problem lies is in the fact that our minds are so firmly tethered to our bodies, and whatever we believe we desire, we do not have complete control over.

If you feel that life is not going the way you wanted. I propose starting with clearing the waters of the mind each of us is swimming in. Pay attention only to what is interesting, meaningful and propels you forward. In Buddhism, teachers can only provide guidance, the actual progress on the path is ultimately the responsibility of the individual. True transformation comes from one’s own actions and efforts. You have to walk the last mile yourself.

Let’s start from fixing what usually goes wrong in life.