In the journey towards a better life, one must first recognize the paramount importance of self-care and well-being. This is not an act of selfishness, but rather an elemental responsibility. There is only you in the universe of your mind. Neglecting own needs leads to burnout and hinders the ability to contribute meaningfully to the world around you.

Before extending help to others, we must first ensure our own well-being. Fix yourself first. As they say in the flight booklet — put the oxygen mask on yourself before helping others. Two drowning people are not better than one.

You are your responsibility

Self-Prioritization first. Start with acknowledging that caring for yourself is not a luxury but a fundamental aspect of a healthy and productive life. Self-care forms the basis of your capacity to contribute positively to the world. Reflect on times when neglecting your well-being affected your efficiency and mood and use these instances as motivation to prioritize yourself.

You are not your fault. You are your responsibility. You may not have chosen all the circumstances of your life, you have the power and responsibility to shape your response. Your past may explain you, but it doesn’t excuse you. Shift from a mindset of blame to one of ownership, recognizing that every choice you make shapes your future.

Personal accountability is the cornerstone of a fulfilling life. Only you bear the ultimate responsibility for the direction your life takes. Step up and take ownership of the choices, actions, and the consequences that follow. By embracing accountability, you gain the power to shape your destiny.

Take ownership of decisions and circumstances. Take responsibility for your actions and for your life. Help yourself first. With the foundation of self-responsibility solidified, let’s explore how order and clarity play a pivotal role in well-being.

Order > Happiness

Order and clarity in life are the prerequisite for well-being. Order is not merely about organization but about creating a harmonious environment in which your mind and soul can thrive. An ordered space reflects an ordered mind. A cluttered room leads to a cluttered mind. Simple cleaning and organizing your space can dramatically improve your mental clarity and mood.

Peterson in his 12 Rules for life discusses the significance of maintaining order and clarity in one’s life. Once everything is in order you can stop worrying about “stuff” and focus on the things that matter.

Be the adult you needed as a child

Orient yourself towards self-compassion and nurturing the inner child within. Treat yourself with love. Provide the care, support, and understanding you needed during the formative years.

The process of healing and treating yourself with compassion is a pivotal step towards self-acceptance and emotional resilience. Once you start walking along this path you will move forward with strength and confidence.

Set your life in perfect order

Before you criticize the world. Perfect. Start small, throw away what is cluttering your desk. Once you’ve organized your personal space, expand your efforts to your household, and then to other aspects of your life. As you help others under your care, you will likely gain a clearer understanding of why things are the way they are.

Spoiler – because there is no other way everything can be the only way possible. The way things are. And maybe the world is not that bad after all. And it doesn’t require fixing.

You’ll need the order to have a steady foundation for the next step.

One step at a time, with one foot in order

Zen philosophy is the art of harmonizing chaos and order in life. Despite sounding delicate this equilibrium provides a stable foundation for navigating the complexities of existence. Embracing both spontaneity and structure, this balance lets us easily adapt to the ever-changing nature of life.

As Peterson says, one foot in order, one foot in chaos. One you have a good foothold in the order the chaos of life will bring only possibilities. Taleb calls this “anti-fragility”. You bend under the wind of change but never break because your life is in order.

Which is exactly what zen is about. And then start taking steps. No matter how small. One step after another. Just take care of today. And don’t worry about tomorrow. Do your best now. Whatever is going on you can improve it. Instead of thinking what could be better – apply the change. Start spreading the order around you.

No expectations

We always get stressed when the expectations don’t match reality. And they never do. The wisdom is to take care of today and not expect anything. Release expectations. Let things take care of themselves. When you don’t expect anything reality always exceeds expectations. So you’re always pleasantly surprised. This practice will lead to a more harmonious existence. Once you stop expecting things you will stop resisting. Things will stop happen to you. There will be no disappointment and frustration that arise from holding onto rigid expectations. This concept aligns with Buddhist philosophy which emphasizes the serenity that comes from accepting life as it unfolds.

In Zen and Buddhist philosophies, the practice of releasing expectations is not about apathy but about embracing the fluidity and unpredictability of life. No expectations. No disappointment. No suffering.

Consistent good mood

And the most important – consistent good mood. Often people hide their identity, tolerate restrictions, and remain in bad relationships because they’re afraid. This raises stress level which is causing bad thoughts that lead to more stress and the cycle continues.

Prioritize happiness. Seek fulfillment and joy in life. Happiness is not a self-indulgent pursuit, but a vital component of a fulfilling life. To be always in a good mood is normal. Somehow the new norm is to be always offended by one thing or another, but that’s a lie. Break the cycle. Find meaning, genuine connections, that understand and appreciate you. Actively seek out experiences, relationships, and endeavors that bring joy and fulfillment. By nurturing own happiness, you become better equipped to positively impact the world around you.

Mask on yourself