Mask on yourself

Fix yourself first. As they say in the flight booklet — put the oxygen mask on yourself before helping others. Two drowning people are not better than one.

There is only you in the universe of your mind. Neglecting your own needs leads to burnout.

You are your responsibility

You are not your fault. You are your responsibility. You may not have chosen all the circumstances of your life, but you can shape your response. Your past may explain you, but it doesn’t excuse you.

Take ownership of your decisions, actions, and consequences. Help yourself first.

Order > Happiness

Order comes before happiness. A cluttered room leads to a cluttered mind. Cleaning and organizing your space can dramatically improve your mental clarity.

Peterson in 12 Rules for Life talks about order and clarity. When everything is in order, you can stop worrying about “stuff” and focus on what matters.

Be the adult you needed as a child

Treat yourself with love. Give yourself the care and support you needed growing up.

Set your life in perfect order

Before you criticize the world — set your own house in order. Start small: throw away what’s cluttering your desk. Organize your space? Expand to your household, then other areas of life. As you help those in your care, you’ll understand why things are the way they are.

Spoiler – because there is no other way everything can be the only way possible. The way things are. And maybe the world is not that bad after all. And it doesn’t require fixing.

You’ll need the order to have a steady foundation for the next step.

One step at a time, with one foot in order

As Peterson says, one foot in order, one foot in chaos. Once you have a good foothold in order, the chaos of life brings only possibilities. Taleb calls this “anti-fragility.” You bend under the wind of change but never break because your life is in order.

That’s what zen is about. Take steps. No matter how small. Take care of today. Don’t worry about tomorrow. Whatever is going on, you can improve it. Instead of thinking what could be better — apply the change.

No expectations

We get stressed when expectations don’t match reality. And they never do. Release expectations. Let things take care of themselves. When you don’t expect anything, reality always exceeds expectations. You’re always pleasantly surprised.

Stop expecting — stop resisting. This isn’t apathy. It’s accepting life as it unfolds. No expectations. No disappointment. No suffering.

Consistent good mood

And the most important — consistent good mood. People hide their identity, tolerate restrictions, and stay in bad relationships because they’re afraid. Stress rises, causes bad thoughts, which lead to more stress — the cycle continues.

Being in a good mood is normal. Somehow the new norm is to be offended by one thing or another, but that’s a lie. Break the cycle. Find genuine connections — people who understand and appreciate you. Good mood isn’t the goal. It’s the runway. And from here, we take off.